Letting boys lead: A Three-Legged Race, a Teachable Moment and the Heart of BB
The other night at our Company night, we were running a three‑legged race relay as practice for our participation in the International Juniors Team Games. Right from the start, if you’ve ever watched boys aged 5–11 attempt a three‑legged race, you’ll know exactly what we saw—pure chaos, belly laughs, and a whole lot of learning happening right before our eyes.
As the activity unfolded, the boys were determined to make as many laps around the bucket as possible, but their success depended heavily on one thing: their partner.
Some pairs—especially those close in age and size—did surprisingly well. Soon enough, they figured out that the only way forward was to communicate, match their pace, and work as a team. Others… well, they tried to race as individuals, dragging their partner along and hoping the other would magically keep up. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t go well.
A Leadership Moment in Disguise: Letting Boys Lead in Real Time
In the middle of all this, we noticed two five‑year‑olds doing their absolute best but struggling to get around the bucket. Meanwhile, two older boys were powering through the course with impressive teamwork. Seeing the contrast, the Captain made a decision: split the older boys and pair each one with a younger boy.
The older boys were not impressed. They had been doing well, and now they were being “slowed down.” You could see the disappointment on their faces.
At that moment, the Captain stepped in with a gentle but powerful challenge.
He reminded them that they had expressed a desire to be leaders—and leadership isn’t about winning the race yourself. It’s about:
- helping others succeed.
- lifting someone else up, even if it costs you something
- patience, encouragement, and responsibility.
Ultimately, this is what letting boys lead really looks like.
Almost instantly, the change was visible.
Their posture shifted and they stood a little taller, proud to be recognised as leaders. And when the race began again, one of the boys leaned down to his younger partner and said quietly, “Let’s walk together. We can do this.”
It was a beautiful moment—one of those glimpses where you see a boy take a step toward becoming a young man.
Celebrating Growth
Later that evening, during our wrap‑up, the Captain praised the two older boys in front of everyone. The whole room applauded. After the applause died down, he made sure to tell one of the mums what a win it had been for her son.
Moments like this matter. They stick. More importantly, they show us why letting boys lead in small, everyday ways shapes them far beyond the activity itself.
A Personal Reminder: How Letting Boys Lead Shapes Them Over Time
As I reflected on the night, those boys reminded me of my own son during his BB days. He was once given the responsibility of being a Junior Squad Leader—not because he was the “best boy,” but because the Captain saw potential in him and raised the bar of expectation.
Throughout that year, I watched him grow into the role. As a Squad leader, he strategised how to help his squad behave well in parade. He straightened ties, pulled up socks, gave pep talks, and genuinely cared about helping his squad succeed. His squad ended up winning Best Squad that year, but the real victory was the growth that happened inside him. In many ways, it was another example of how letting boys lead invites them into maturity.
Why We Let Boys Lead
Giving boys responsibility at a young age is one of the most valuable things we can do. Through these moments, it teaches them:
- to be responsible
- to put others first
- to encourage and support their peers
- to rise to expectations
- to practise patience, discipline, and self‑control
Naturally, they won’t always get it right. They’ll need reminders, they’ll wobble, hesitate, and sometimes resist. But that’s the point—they’re learning. And we’re shaping them.
This is the advancement of Christ’s Kingdom among boys and the promotion of obedience, reverence, discipline, and self‑respect. It is what true Christian manliness looks like in seed form.
And on Monday night, two boys demonstrated it beautifully.
Cathy Ballantine – 16th Brisbane BB